SO NEAR AND YET SO FAR

Our town municipality went to polls a few days back after some hectic campaigning, rabble rousing et al which have now come to characterize elections in any part of the country.  Amongst other notables,  the lady chairperson won again by a thumping margin-a wonderful example of woman empowerment. However, there is a chink, a huge one. Since the time I joined in this district which is roughly a year ago, I have been witness to mass cribbing over the state of the district headquarters.Young and old,                                     students, intelligentsia, women and even politicians have bemoaned that the Municipality and its chairperson are simply defunct and it is for all to see. Roads exist just in name, mostly, they are small arteries joining potholes the size of Vesuvian craters; garbage dumps create an unsightly view and raise a huge stink at all places, drains don’t exist and wherever they do they have been clogged since a long time, street lighting is poor and no public amenity seems to be properly maintained. This in a town known to be the home to some of the prominent freedom fighters, writers, educationists, politicians and visionaries of the state. A town which has a prominent place in the tourist map of the country and is also the home to a missile test range which gets frequented by scientists of national and international renown, all through the year. Yes, the living conditions in the town have been appalling and I always thought that there was a huge merit in all the virulent complaints against the elected members constituting the Municipality. Therefore, when the elections were announced, I could understand all the feverish political activity and the fervor surrounding the entire process. Maybe, the people wanted change and I felt they truly deserved it. However, all my optimism was pretty short-lived. Once campaigning begun, it appeared as if there was a mad rush among candidates to appease the voters. Not through emotional speeches or vacuous promises which would have put any lovelorn suitor to shame but through rampant cash mongering. It appeared to be a test of who could muster the wherewithal to make the highest bid for the voter. Of course, with the administrative machinery exercising maximum vigilance to deal with unethical practices, the cash and freebie peddling was not a blatant road show. As it is like with all things in this country, the important deals happen behind curtains and under covers. Our people might scream their voices out and go teary eyed regarding corruption and all other evils afflicting our society, but when it comes to making a little personal contribution to the cause, we come to a naught. We would rather grab that Smartphone or that bicycle or those caches of liquor bottles being offered by a candidate to ensure our electoral support rather make an informed, just and fair choice. All this  seems an ode to hypocrisy, especially in a country where Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal were being hailed as the new, modern icons in a corruption beleaguered nation a few summers ago.   Somebody put forth an argument that poor people cannot really be blamed for getting lured into this ugly web. Really? Is poverty the single big qualification which can be taken as an excuse for all the wrongs? Somehow, are not we poor because we are so corrupt in our individual thoughts and practices? It is just not that we are poor financially; we seem to wallow in social and ethical poverty as well.

I ruminated for a long while as to what my angst was really all about. I was surely not a stranger to the practices and intentions of our people. This perfidy in the name of democracy has been in existence for some time now. Was it the direct confrontations with such double speak which was creating such a bother? Partially, yes. The realization that all the anti-corruption self-righteous movements led by the bright, young people of our country are only but storms in a teacup brings in a tsunami of pessimism. However, the real angst is about the fact that the people of this town (which incidentally boasts of a very high percentage of literacy) have again lost the chance to make a choice which might have given them an opportunity to be able to enjoy the benefits of an urban life. For the next 5 years, the Municipality shall be graced by the same nincompoops of the previous term who filled in their personal coffers at the cost of larger good. Why? So that they could afford to dole out expensive bribes or throw mutton feasts right before the elections and get the next term assured. Who really bothers about ramshackle living conditions? My worry is not about the elected but those who elected. The feasts would be forgotten in a week’s time, the few thousand rupees would be spent in a month, the free saree/dhoti might just tear off after six months and the phone would conk out in a year. What would remain are the same potholed, bumpy roads, badly lit environs, tricky public amenities and a general grumble regarding the sorry state of affairs reminiscent of medieval times. What would also remain are incidents of women getting molested in dark streets, people suffering accidents on bad roads and children suffering from dengue/malaria because nobody really bothered to clear the massive garbage dumps.

As for myself, I pity my spine and back for the nth time as my vehicle bumps and swerves through the roads of the town. And then, I look up, catch the sight of the lovely near full moon giving a teasing look through the branches of an old tree..and then, all rancour is temporarily forgotten. The milky orb seems to beckon to forget all man-made follies and rejoice in its heavenly beauty. And, I dreamily submit.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

THE YEAR GONE BY

I turned a year old today and just realized that this blog also turns three this month. Though I had been largely inactive in blogosphere, I guess I am back for good. It does feel nice to get back to putting down one’s thoughts and opinions in black and white. That ways, last year has indeed been a year of ‘getting back’ to lots of things I had forgotten or neglected in a wave of melancholy. Why the melancholy is altogether a different matter. As I sit back and think about it, it does gall that I did lose some very precious years wallowing in an ocean of self doubt. Not that I am finally out of it; there are slips and relapses but what makes me really happy is that now I at least know how to deal with such situations. My last birthday had brought with it a new posting, a new phase of life which, at that time, had seemed so daunting. Demanding it has been and also a strain on all the reserves of my physical, mental and emotional strength but, at the same time, it feels nice to realize that I have come out of it pretty unscathed. And in the journey of this past year, with all its personal and professional challenges, I did manage to do certain things I have wanted to do since a long while. I am quite excited that finally I learnt free style swimming. Not that this was the first opportunity. But on all earlier occasions, I couldn't really learn because of paucity of time or some injury or the other. Finally, I did manage to ‘bell the cat’ this summer. It was nothing less than a personal victory. And, I have relished the moments in water under a dazzling, blue summer sky. Trees swaying in sync with the evening breeze, chirping birds and a general quietude at the pool complex did a lot to calm my nerves which invariably get frayed after office hours.

I admit my profession has taken away a lot of my personal space and life has been pretty much hectic and exhausting. But still, it has been a lovely feeling to get back to certain quirks I used to have long back. One of them was listening to music which I had just given up a few years ago. The only gyan on music came from random TV surfing. A few months back, I bought a whole collection of music CDs after a long, long time..and finally resurrected my music system. And as the strains of lovely, soulful music fill up the air these days, I always wonder how I did manage to do without it in the first place.

Of other things, I taught myself to bake breads, to devise new ways of spending quality time with my baby, to leash my temper, to talk nasty with an even tone, and got back to giggling unabashedly and not necessarily in that order.

Basically, it has been quite a journey, a decidedly choppy but one of those where you are glad that all is well that ends well. And I make a birthday wish for myself that the ‘wellness’ factor continues to persist in my journey to attain peace with myself and with surroundings. So, it’s another year to look forward to, to wish myself that all those lovely people who faithfully stand by, through smiles and tears, cheer on!